When one home cook took to Reddit to defend the way he portions dinner, he didn’t expect it to spark a debate about fairness and food.
The original poster (OP), user SwainDane, shared his story on Reddit, explaining that he prepares nearly every meal for his household and often gives himself the “better” or more desirable cut of meat.
The OP, who cooks for his partner and young child, said, “I feel like when I’m the one who figures out what we’re gonna eat, does the grocery shopping, cooks the dinner, then I may have the right to decide who gets who when plating up.”
He clarified that nobody ever leaves the table hungry and there are usually leftovers, adding, “We’re simply talking MINISCULE levels of bigger piece of meat, or better sear.”
In one example, he described serving four pieces of meat—three equal-sized and one smaller—where he’d take two of the larger ones and give the other normal and smaller piece to his partner.
“I don’t ALWAYS take the better piece, but I will admit I do it a majority of the time, let’s say 60%,” he wrote.
‘I feel like I can take the ‘good cut”
However, he turned to Reddit for advice after a favorite shared meal when, according to the OP, his partner made a comment: “You get the better piece, huh?”
The OP wrote, “I wanna point out that if we get takeout or something like that, I’ll offer up whatever I think they might like, it’s just that when I cooked the meal and such, I feel like I can take the ‘good cut’.”
Reddit Reacts
Reddit users flocked to the comments to weigh in, with one writing, “[Not the a******]–but it is quite interesting you do that. I do all the cooking in the house too, and when I portion up, I always give her the best cut or better-cooked one.
“Why? Because I love her and want her to have the best bit.”
Another asked, “Is generosity not in your nature? Would it really be that much of a sacrifice to not ALWAYS get the best bits? Would it really make you that miserable?”
A separate commenter bluntly noted, “If you do this every time, you are not wrong. You’re just an a******. But not wrong. But still an a******.”
Small Imbalances, Big Impact
Beyond online opinion, relationship researchers suggest that repeated small imbalances can affect long-term satisfaction.
According to Marriage.com, signs of a selfish husband include: “He never thinks about your well-being or comfort. Their world revolves around one person: themselves. He will not ask you about your likes and dislikes in terms of decisions, big or small.”
The article also outlines patterns like not sharing decision-making or being absent in moments of emotional need as warning signs.
As one expert cited in the article put it, “A marriage should be built on mutual care and consideration, but when one partner consistently prioritizes themselves, the relationship can feel one-sided and draining.”
The OP pushed back on that idea in this case: “If there’s a piece of something I know my partner likes more than I do, I’ll readily give that piece,” he wrote.
For now, he seems to view his approach not as entitlement but as a small perk of labor.
Newsweek has reached out to SwainDane for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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