It’s not so sunny in Cleveland, Ohio, right now, and that’s because the Cavaliers are down 0-2 to the New York Knicks and on the verge of, for all intents and purposes, elimination from the NBA playoffs.
On Saturday night, though, Cleveland is going to attempt to reverse the momentum as the Eastern Conference final switches over to the midwest for the next two games of the seven-part marathon.
And Cavs ownership will do anything to make sure incoming Knicks fans don’t take over their arena.
How are they trying to douse the excitement of traveling New Yorkers as they look to go up 3-0?
With what everyone who goes to a sporting event loves: rules.
Let’s go through each of the rules the Cavs sent to their fans before the big game.
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[1] WEAR THE SHIRT.
IF YOU’RE IN THE BUILDING, YOU’RE IN UNIFORM. PLAYOFF TEE ON FROM TIP TO FINAL BUZZER.
Nothing is cooler than forcing your fans to wear the t-shirt given out. This feels like your parents yelling at you to put on your nice clothes for a holiday.
[2] LET EM KNOW: NO WARM WELCOMES IN OUR HOUSE.
FROM THE FIRST OPPOSING INTRO, WE DROWN THEM OUT WITH “LET’S GO CAVS!”
The world has many delightful, colorful chants at sports games. I wonder how long it took the Cleveland brain trust to come up with the chant “LET’S GO CAVS!” for everyone to join in.
[3] WE ALL DEFEND THE LAND.
WHEN THE OPPONENT HAS THE BALL, YOU KNOW THE CALL – SCREAM “DEFENSE.”
OK, seriously now, we might be trying too hard to change the wheel. Wait, so you’re telling me when the other team has the ball, the fans should chant for the defense to stop them? Revolutionary.
[4] MAKE THEM MISS.
DURING FREE THROWS, WE DO EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER TO DISTRACT THE OPPONENT UNTIL THE BALL LEAVES THEIR HAND.
See, now I’m calling out the Cavaliers here. You can’t tell the fans that they can do everything in their power to distract the opponent when that certainly isn’t true. I can think of multiple ways a fan could distract a player that would result in security kicking them out.
[5] THE 4TH. WE CLOSE TOGETHER.
NOBODY SITS OR LETS UP. WE WAVE RALLY TOWELS AND BRING THE ENERGY UNTIL THE FINAL BUZZER.
Hey, fans, just so you know, if the game is close that you spend hundreds of dollars to attend, make sure to react until the game is over. Unless we’re down 40, and then you can probably just leave with your customary rally towel.
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