Alyson Stoner details the highs and lows of their life and career in their newly released memoir, titled Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything, released on Tuesday, August 12.
Following a childhood in Ohio, Stoner relocated to California during their early years in the hopes of jumpstarting a lucrative acting career. One super short show later, and they became a Disney Channel staple and Missy Elliot backup dancer.
But not every memory is a positive one.
“At 7 years old, it didn’t register that I was being groomed to be sold. I was no longer a child; I was a commodity,” Stoner wrote at one part of the book. “I did as adults instructed me to, and Mom eagerly supported whatever helped me shine. Although auditions were positioned as a creative outlet, they actually had nothing to do with carefree self-expression. My personal interests didn’t matter. The real assignment was to please and impress the casting team and beat out the competition.”
During the early days of their career, Stoner “vowed never to be average” so they would not be forgotten in fast-paced Hollywood.
“My strategy for success was foolproof,” they wrote. “All I have to do is be perfect at everything and look perfect while doing it.”
Keep scrolling for the biggest revelations from Stoner’s memoir:
Missy Elliot’s ‘Work It’ Music Video
Stoner was on set well “past my bedtime” as a child when filming Elliot’s 2002 music video for “Work It.”
“The other kids were experts at creating moves from thin air, but improvisation terrified me. I tried to piece together ideas before my turn,” they recalled. “I ran out of ideas. Just impress them! As a last resort, I risked it all and went for the six step and baby freeze, only to fall out of the pose prematurely. I was mortified.”
However, the music video ended up being a turning point in Stoner’s life — and the first time they were recognized in public. They eventually recreated the choreography from the music video at the 2019 MTV VMAs when Elliot was honored with the Video Vanguard Award.
‘Mike’s Super Short Show’
It was a no-brainer for Stoner to appear on the Disney Channel, their “all-time favorite TV station” as a kid.
“Mike’s Super Short Show filmed on weekends because minors could be on set longer, circumventing the three hours of mandatory tutoring for school days,” Stoner claimed. “My character, Sally, was written as the annoying kid sister. I never knew what wild antics they’d have me doing. … I made sure to follow directions regardless of how embarrassing the skit was, though I sometimes worried that other kids my age might think I was weird.”
Being cast as a series regular on the show, which lasted from 2003 to 2007, “shifted” Stoner’s mentality.
“There was a newfound maturity and stoicism that could only come from taking on adult responsibilities,” they wrote. “Unintentionally, Mike’s Super Short Show squeezed out the final drops of childhood wonder I had left. Acting wasn’t an art; it was a business.”
‘Cheaper by the Dozen’
Stoner had nothing but positive things to say about working alongside Bonnie Hunt in the 2003 film. The legendary actress “emotionally attuned herself to every one” of her onscreen kids, Stoner recalled in the book.
“Bonnie clarified the sequence of events and my scene objective. Her questions were intentional and nuanced. She focused on me like I was the only human on the planet,” they wrote. “For me, Cheaper by the Dozen was an immersive escape.”
Not So ‘Suite Life’
Disney kids will recall Stoner’s recurring role as Max on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. They kissed Dylan Sprouse’s Zack on the show, but originally, Stoner was also meant to lock lips with Cole Sprouse’s Cody as well.
“I was under a legal contract, so I had no choice but to rehearse whatever was written in front of a crew of strangers; otherwise I’d be seen as unprofessional,” they recalled. “At least they changed it to only one boy before millions of children and parents watched the episode.”
The ‘Step Up’ Drama
Stoner played Channing Tatum’s sister Camille in the first Step Up movie, released in 2006. They remembered the cast as a “chosen family.” However, there was some apparent drama between Stoner and costar Adam Sevani when they returned for 2014’s Step Up: All In.
“My toxically positive mind refused to accept that someone might be knowingly disrespectful,” Stoner wrote. “But that was put to the test on the set of Step Up 5: All In, when Adam stopped making eye contact with me.”
They alleged that Sevani “couldn’t pretend to act romantically attracted to me” because Stoner “wasn’t beautiful like his previous costar.”
Issues at Home
Stoner spoke candidly about their mom’s alcohol struggles throughout the book. They also wrote about their mother being “completely dependent” on their stepdad John’s money. Things between Stoner’s mom and John started to unravel around their 12th birthday.
One night, things escalated when John allegedly “rolled up the window while my hand was resting over the edge, jamming my wrist at the top.” Back at home, he went for the family’s “important documents” and allegedly “pinned” Stoner’s mom against the wall.
“I sprinted to the landline, only to find he’d preemptively ripped it out again,” Stoner claimed in the book. “I can’t hide this anymore. He’s going to kill us. It was time to breach family confidentiality and tell someone. I ran to the neighbor’s house and banged on their door.”
The police were allegedly called, and Stoner claimed John disappeared from their lives. (Stoner previously addressed their stepfather’s abuse on the “Dear Hollywood” podcast in September 2023.)
Where’s the Money?
At one point in the memoir, Stoner broke down what their career cost.
“A partial list of expenses could include a $3,000-$12,000 monthly retainer for a publicist; a $6,000-$10,000 monthly retainer for a fashion stylist and glam team (unfortunately mandatory for the quantity and high-profile nature of events); $2,000 in monthly voice lessons; $500 in monthly dance training; $500 for updated headshots; $75 per audition for acting coaching (and I went on an average of three to four auditions per week); and so on,” they wrote, explaining that their team “took approximately 35 percent in commissions” and “another 35 percent” went to taxes.
“With toppling up-front expenses, it felt like money moved straight through me,” they added in the book. “The more I earned, the more people took, and the more things cost.”
But that wasn’t all. Later on in Stoner’s career, they discovered that there were discrepancies in their finances. Their mother, for one, had taken “several thousand” dollars from their bank account over the years. At the time, Stoner’s account was at zero dollars, but their sister estimated it should be at “over a million.”
Stoner discussed this topic in an interview with The New York Times, referring to it as “death by a thousand mishaps,” ahead of their memoir’s release. They decided against legal action.
“I still feel very protective,” Stoner said of their mom. “I know what it’s like to have my life exposed to the world. I don’t wish it on anyone.”
Eating Disorder Treatment
Stoner detailed their disordered eating struggles throughout the book, which eventually led to them seeking inpatient treatment. (Stoner said that at one point they weighed 102 pounds, writing that pounds and they eventually gained 25 pounds while in treatment.)
“My chart stated that my eating disorder started out as orthorexia — an obsession with healthy or proper eating — in younger years, which evolved into anorexia nervosa and exercise bulimia,” Stoner wrote. “I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) tendencies, alexithymia, and complex PTSD.”
Having an Exorcism Amid Sexuality Journey
The memoir also detailed Stoner’s religious journey, which took a turn when they started exploring and discovering various aspects of their sexuality.
“Christian peers spread my personal business to recruit people to fight this spiritual battle,” they wrote, recalling one evening when their pastor attempted to “[exorcize] the demon of homosexuality from [their] body, mind and spirit.”
Stoner was “prepared to convulse or black out,” but mostly felt shame.
“Sadly, many of my Christian peers stopped talking to me after hearing about my struggle,” they wrote. “Am I contagious? Do they think I have crushes on all of them?”
They came out publicly in 2018.
If you or someone you know struggles with an eating disorder, visit the National Alliance for Eating Disorders website or call their hotline at +1 (866) 662-1235. Text “ALLIANCE” to 741741 for free, 24/7 support.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential support. If you or someone you know is experiencing child abuse, call or text Child Help Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.
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