“Emotional romantic” relationships — no, not just a redundant synonym.
On Thursday, The Post reported that Andrew Cuomo and his top aide, then-married Melissa DeRosa, were entangled in an “emotional romantic relationship.”
DeRosa allegedly confided in Josh Vlasto, another former Cuomo aide who testified to the AG’s office that DeRosa denied having sex with the former New York governor but referred to her relationship with him as an “emotional romantic relationship.”
Vlasto testified that DeRosa claimed the pair “have not had sex and we are not crossing that line or something like that.”
“Ultimately, that is when she told me that that was the nature of their relationship. It was emotionally intimate was the words she used,” Vlasto said.
But what even is an “emotional romantic relationship?”
Genny Finkel, an NYC-based licensed clinical social worker, described this to The Post as “a relationship that crosses a boundary or a line.”
“They’re talking about things that are really intimate, they’re making it clear that the person is different than their partner and there’s a lot of flirting,” she explained.
It’s different than the connection you have with your close friends — and you know it.
“The distinction between a friendship and an emotional affair is when there’s a longing, there’s an excitement, there’s a need,” Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist and author of “Am I Lying to Myself? How to Overcome Denial and See the Truth,” told The Post.
This can hurt just as much as a sexual affair, “because there is a betrayal of trust,” she said.
Finkel clarified, “This is considered an affair even if it’s not physical.”
Sometimes referred to as an “emotional affair,” an estimated 35% of women and 45% of men admit to engaging in the illicit behavior, according to data published last year from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.
And many jilted lovers fear that this will lead to a sexual affair.
“Men rarely open up emotionally to anyone unless it’s their romantic partner, and they often confuse emotional intimacy with sexual intimacy,” said Wendy Walsh, a psychology professor who has a PhD in clinical psychology and serves as a relationship expert at DatingAdvice.
“It becomes blurry. When men have emotional intimacy, it is often accompanied by sexual arousal.”
Finkel noted that these inappropriate relationships often begin in the workplace as colleagues bond over work stresses and see each other often.
And that just makes it more difficult to untangle.
“I think it’s an abuse of power in a lot of ways,” Finkel claimed. “We have to think about the power dynamics in a work environment, and I would just be concerned about abuses of power in the future.”
“How would he wield his power to influence or get what he wants from people?”
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