A 26-year-old man’s decision to end his relationship after his girlfriend demanded he quit his high-paying offshore job has been applauded online.
The original poster (OP), Reddit user Fluid_Use_2978, explained that he works as a foreman on an oil rig in the North Sea, where he spends two weeks at sea followed by four weeks at home.
“I make great money, I have risen to a Foreman there, and the company I work for wants to invest money in me to expand my qualifications,” he wrote.
“Besides that, I really like the job, and I have a lot of perks and benefits.”
His 21-year-old girlfriend, however, struggled with the arrangement, telling him she felt lonely during his time away and asking him to find a local job instead.
He refused, saying there was “no way” he would leave a position that paid far more than anything available nearby, leading to a breakup when she would not back down.
He added that he made efforts to maintain the relationship, including daily calls after shifts and spending as much time as possible together when home.
The OP wrote, “We live in a small town, but there is plenty [for her] to do. Besides, I always encouraged her to find hobbies or go out with friends.”
“I was always open to help with her struggles,” he pointed out, but said her ultimatum left no room for compromise.
Reddit Reacts
Reddit users overwhelmingly backed the OP’s decision, with one writing, “If you were away for six months, she might have a point, but it’s only two weeks. Would she have dumped you if you had a stay in hospital for surgery?
They added, “Asking you to give up a job that helps set you up for the future is crazy, especially in the current job market.”
Another commenter took a more balanced view, noting, “I wouldn’t call either of you [a*******]… At the end of the day, your lifestyles just didn’t align, and that’s completely fair.”
“Expecting you to quit a high-paying career over her loneliness isn’t reasonable long-term,” one contributor pointed out.
The OP’s story reflects a common strain in long-distance or rotational work arrangements, where time apart can create emotional pressure.
According to YourTango, “Depending on a partner so much that it becomes their emotional lifeline is where things turn unhealthy,” noting that excessive reliance can push partners away rather than strengthen the relationship.
The article adds that “nobody wants to date someone who doesn’t know how to spend time alone,” pointing to independence as a key factor in maintaining attraction.
At the same time, relationship experts point to the importance of respecting individual priorities.
Taking Ownership
Guidance from HelpGuide states that “you shouldn’t feel responsible for how the other person reacts to the boundary,” emphasizing that each person must take ownership of their emotional responses.
The resource also notes that personal goals, including career ambitions, may not always align within a partnership.
In his follow-up comments, the OP pointed out he had already made adjustments earlier in his career, reducing his time offshore from longer rotations to the current two-week schedule.
He said her ultimatum made him feel “unappreciated,” adding, “In the end, she was certain that she was feeling that way because of my absence; no place for talk or understanding.”
Newsweek has reached out to Fluid_Use_2978 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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