A Michigan mom recently faced the daunting task of explaining family estrangement to her 5-year-old daughter.
Unsure of how to put such a complicated reality into words a young child could understand, Lucy turned to an unexpected source: ChatGPT.
The 30-year-old who is married to husband Cody, 32, posted a reel on Instagram (@lucycandella) and shared what the AI chatbot advised.
ChatGPT’s suggested script read: “You might have noticed we haven’t seen that part of the family in a while.”
“The truth is, sometimes grown-ups make choices that aren’t kind or safe,” it continued. “And when that happens—even if they’re family—we have to protect ourselves and our family by creating space.”
For the mom of three, the decision to turn to ChatGPT wasn’t about outsourcing her parenting, but about breaking through a wall of grief.
“Parenting through grief has been one of the hardest things I’ve faced in my five years as a mother,” Lucy told Newsweek.
After relocating to be closer to extended family, those relationships became an anchor in her daily life. But when the relationship became unsafe, Lucy made the painful choice to cut ties.
She had already spoken with her therapist and her child’s therapist, and thought she was ready. However, when it came time to sit across from her daughter and explain the situation, Lucy froze.
“That’s where ChatGPT helped,” she said. “In less than 30 seconds, it gave me language that felt clear, age-appropriate and compassionate.”
When Lucy finally shared the explanation, her daughter’s reaction revealed the innocence of a 5-year-old’s priorities, asking her mom to confirm that they won’t ever see them again.
“Then she wanted to know when she would get to do the things she’d been promised, like going fishing, traveling or playing certain games with them,” Lucy said.
That simple shift gave Lucy the chance to clarify her role as protector: “I told her that when she’s older and more capable of protecting her own heart and mind, I will support her in reaching out to them. But for now, I would no longer be facilitating that relationship.”
Lucy’s reel has gone viral on Instagram, clocking up over 6 million views and hundreds of comments from other users.
While some could relate to the situation, others were more skeptical about Lucy’s use of AI in such a personal moment.
“I think it’s a great model for them to use when they cut off contact with you,” one user wrote.
“It’s a mature and bold thing to do to cut off family if they are emotionally immature,” another added.
A third commented, “My heart breaks for you that you have been through so much and even more so that you are asking AI (not a real person) for advice.”
Lucy was surprised by how vocal older generations were about the situation, many of whom seemed to be responding from the perspective of being the relative who was cut off.
“It highlighted for me that this conversation is much bigger than just my family, it’s a generational issue unfolding in real time,” she said.
Lucy was also careful to stress that no contact isn’t her default. “Contrary to what people may assume from this reel, I am actually a huge advocate for repair,” she said.
“That said, some situations do call for no contact,” Lucy continued. “My guiding question is simple: is this relationship uncomfortable, or is it unsafe? Uncomfortable can be repaired; unsafe cannot. So while I value repair whenever possible, I also believe that when harm is intentional, the healthiest option is to step away.”
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