Come one, come all.

Kinky revellers have descended on a sleepy English village for the country’s biggest annual swingers festival, sparking noise complaints from conservative locals outraged by ear-splitting orgasms.

Swingathon is taking place this weekend in the town of Allington, two hours north of London, and has attracted around 1000 amorous attendees.

That’s more than the number of residents who live in the quaint village, which has a listed population of just 897.

The three-day festival of frisk play tents, pole dancing, foam parties, mobile dungeons and sex games like butt-plug bingo.

The annual festival first began back in 2020, and is becoming bigger each year, much to the chagrin of locals.

“We’re becoming known as the swingers capital of England just because of this festival and that’s not a title we want,” one anonymous resident told Southwest News Service. “It’s mostly elderly people and families here so you can imagine them spitting their tea out when they learned we were to be the home of Swingathon.”

“It’s usually the talk of the village. Some say let consenting adults do whatever they want to do, but I know many are not pleased they have chosen here for such activities,” they added. “It’s just a bit seedy and sleazy isn’t it? Not for me I’m afraid.”

In recent years, residents have publicly complained about an onslaught of “loud moaning sounds” coming from the site.

However, the organizer of the summertime sex festival insists there’s nothing dirty about the event.

“Contrary to some beliefs, there are no keys in bowls, seedy music, lecherous individuals or a high level of STIs amongst this community,” Swingathon’s Matthew Cole claimed.

“In fact, individuals within this community are respectful, conscientious, and more likely to practise safe sex or be regularly tested than the average person you might meet on a night out in a club,” the organizer added.

“The team are passionate about normalizing the sexual freedom that alternative lifestyles provide and continue to strive against prejudice and adversity to bring the community a safe and inclusive social, play and learning space.”

Tickets for the frisky festival go for around $250 USD, with live music, DJs, workshops and demonstrations that are advertised as being set in a “safe, inclusive space” that “celebrates diversity.”

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