The internet has rallied behind a bridesmaid who confronted her friend over being made to feel like a “body positivity prop” in a wedding where she is noticeably larger than the rest of the bridal party.
The 29-year-old Reddit user, posting under u/SoliraTwilight, shared her story on the subreddit Am I The A******, where her post quickly went viral, earning 10,000 upvotes. She explained that she was set to be a bridesmaid for her 30-year-old friend’s wedding in October, but began feeling more like a set piece than a valued friend.
“We’ve been close since college but lately it feels like I’m just… aesthetic filler to her,” she wrote.
The issue came to a head when the bride chose a tight-fitting dress style for all bridesmaids without consulting them.
“She picked her bridal party dresses without asking for input and they’re tight. Like SKIMS-meets-sausage-casing tight. I’m a size 16. The other girls are size 2–6. I asked if there were other options and she laughed and said, ‘Nooo I love how it looks with all different body types, like it’s giving real women’,” she explained.
Shocked, the Redditor asked her friend directly whether she was being included as a token of size diversity. According to her, the bride went quiet before replying, “You’re so confident, though! That’s why I wanted you in it!”—a remark the bridesmaid interpreted as code for “you make me look better.”
“I told her I’m not comfortable being someone’s walking body positivity prop, and maybe she should get one of her influencer friends instead,” she continued. “She cried, told me I was ruining her vision, and now the group chat is weirdly quiet.”
Her boyfriend suggested she “just suck it up for the day,” but the Redditor explained she’s tired of pretending things don’t bother her when they clearly do. “AITA for saying I don’t want to be part of her Pinterest fantasy?” she asked fellow Redditors.
Expert Insight
Licensed Mental Health Counselor Veronica Lichtenstein weighed in on the situation with Newsweek, validating the bridesmaid’s feelings. She noted that the friend’s comment about “real women” was “tone-deaf and dismissive,” and that the Redditor was “right to call out the possibility of being used as a ‘diversity prop.'”
“Body positivity shouldn’t be performative, and it’s gross to treat a friend like a Pinterest statement piece,” Lichtenstein said. “You’re not a mannequin; you’re a person with comfort and dignity. Good on you for speaking up.”
However, Lichtenstein also pointed out that if this dress plan had been in place for a long time, the timing of the bridesmaid’s objection could be seen as problematic. “Weddings are stressful, and while her vision isn’t more important than your autonomy, springing this late does feel like pulling the rug out.”
Her advice included seeking compromises, like a wrap or tailored adjustment, revisiting the conversation calmly, and reevaluating the friendship for patterns of being treated as an accessory.
“Never suck it up to spare someone’s feelings at the expense of your own. But timing and delivery matter—especially for close friends,” she said.
Daren Banarsë, Senior Psychotherapist at IN Therapy, also offered his verdict to Newsweek, adding that this situation highlights how the aesthetics of wedding culture can “create a psychological blind spot.”
“The bride’s comment about loving ‘how it looks with all different body types’ suggests she genuinely believed she was being inclusive—but inclusion that serves your aesthetic rather than honouring the person isn’t inclusion at all. It’s commodification,” he said.
Banarsë emphasized the emotional weight of the bridesmaid’s direct confrontation, noting her refusal to be “praised for her ‘confidence’ while being reduced to her body size was psychologically essential.”
Too often, he explained, larger people are expected to tolerate treatment that would be unacceptable if aimed at others. “Her boundary-setting was a form of self-preservation and shouldn’t be mistaken for friendship drama.”
Banarsë also explored the bride’s tearful reaction, calling it a defensive response that signals discomfort with recognizing unintentional harm. Whether the friendship survives, he said, now depends on whether the bride can do the deeper self-reflection needed to truly make amends.
Reddit Reacts
Redditors overwhelmingly backed the bridesmaid.
One user wrote: “NTA. It wasn’t, ‘But I want you by my side,’ it was, ‘You’re ruining my vision.’ I’m sorry. For you learning this about her. For learning this about your bf.”
Many took aim at the bride’s priorities. “If the bride’s ‘vision’ is using people as props to fulfill it, she might as well hire models,” one commenter argued. “If you’re choosing people for how they look rather than how much they mean to you, then hire models.”
Others challenged the broader cultural framing of weddings: “Or how the day is alllll about the bride. It’s about the couple sharing their commitment with all those they love. Taking into account those loved ones’ feelings and comfort is simple decency.”
A few users offered more nuanced takes, suggesting the issue may have been more about thoughtlessness than intentional harm: “I don’t agree that the ‘vision’ comment means she only picked the OP because of her looks… It was more that she hadn’t factored HOW her bridesmaids would FEEL about the dress at all—which is still not a great thing, but speaks more of being inconsiderate than only choosing OP for her curves.”
Newsweek reached out to u/SoliraTwilight for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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