A post about a passenger sitting on a fellow commuter’s purse on a crowded train when the woman refused to move the bag to allow her to sit has gone viral on Reddit.
The post by u/CyclingSkater, shared on April 24 in the r/AmItheA****** subreddit, received over 6,700 upvotes and hundreds of comments debating train etiquette and public courtesy.
The poster, who identified herself as a woman, recounted her daily commute in a “metropolitan city” where trains are often packed during rush hour. On this particular day, the poster said she walked through multiple train cars in search of a seat and came across a seat taken by a woman’s bag.
“I asked this woman if I could sit there and she pretended to not hear me,” the poster wrote. “I didn’t want to tap her shoulder because you never know how people would react so I waved a bit to get her attention and she said she didn’t want to hold her bag (which was a no).”
Despite saying that there were no other empty seats and the train was about to depart, the woman continued to ignore her. With no alternative, the poster said she sat down on the purse.
“She began yelling at me telling me I’m a b**** and told me to move because she never said I could sit there. I told her that there was no other seat and the train was departing,” the poster added.
Etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts, author of A Traveler’s Passport to Etiquette in a Post-Pandemic World, told Newsweek: “In travel, as in life, grace is the best carry-on.” She added: “Your seat is not a throne. Share and share alike.”
The American Community Survey (ACS) found that public transportation commuters accounted for around 5 percent of all workers in the United States in 2019, before the COVID-19 pandemic, the U.S. Census Bureau reported in April 2021.
Though public transportation was a “relatively uncommon method” of traveling to work in the country as a whole in 2019, “it played a prominent role in certain places, like the cities of New York, where over 2 million people commuted by public transportation, and San Francisco, where over one-third of workers did so,” the bureau said.
The confrontation in the Reddit post escalated until a conductor intervened. According to the poster, the conductor asked the seated woman if her purse was occupying a seat. She did not respond. The conductor reportedly advised her to “be considerate” and continued checking tickets.
At the next stop, the woman threatened to report the poster to the police for “touching her belongings” and demanded compensation for the purse, claiming it was dented. She also said that, since she had a rough day, she needed personal space and that others should have arrived earlier to claim a seat.
‘Be Considerate of Space’
Etiquette experts weighed in, agreeing with the poster’s frustration and emphasizing the importance of courtesy in shared public spaces.
Grotts said: “Be considerate of space. Don’t sprawl; during busy times, less is more; and keep your luggage tucked away—not center stage.”
Etiquette expert Jules Hirst, co-author of Power of Civility, told Newsweek that, while stressful situations can test patience, they are precisely when good manners matter most.
“Seats on public transportation are for passengers and not for your belongings,” Hirst said. “This train was almost full due to the afterwork rush commute. The seated passenger should have shown some civility and moved their belongings so a fellow passenger could sit down.”
Addressing the poster’s decision to sit on the purse, Hirst said that it may not have been ideal but understandable. “The seatless passenger waved to get the attention of the seated passenger, explained the situation and was ignored. The seated passenger prioritized her purse over the needs of a fellow human being,” she added.
“Public transportation is a shared space, so the seated passenger needed to share and did not,” Hirst said.
‘Her Purse Doesn’t Get a Seat’
The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the poster. In a top comment with more than 8,000 upvotes, u/uncommonbreeddogmom wrote: “It’s public transit. Her purse doesn’t get a seat because she had a bad day.”
Other users echoed the sentiment. “She really thought that seat came with a bag reservation tag or sum,” u/Sablefernglow commented. “You asked nice multiple times and she ignored u … ppl [people] love acting like victims when they were inconsiderate first …”
Many Reddit users used humor to underline the absurdity of the situation. “Seats are for butts, not bags,” wrote u/awkwardlypragmatic. Another, u/Ellend821, added: “NTA [not the a******] and this is hilarious, I’m using this tactic next time.”
“NTA. Public transit seats are for people, not purses,” wrote u/Arorua_Mendes. “What were you supposed to do, levitate? Her rough day doesn’t trump basic transit etiquette … Her bag doesn’t pay fare, and your actions were justified.”
Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.
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