When one bride-to-be asked her bridal party to share their budgets for hair and the bachelorette party, she thought she was being considerate.
But after tallying the full list of costs she hadn’t originally accounted for—dresses, shoes, travel, nails, gifts and more—she found herself wondering if she was asking too much.
“No one has complained and they all seem excited about these things,” Reddit user chapstix0314 shared, “But I feel like it’s asking too much.”
The original poster (OP) wasn’t alone in questioning what’s customary versus what’s fair.
‘I vowed’
A fellow Reddit contributor responded, “I struggle with this because I’ve been the bridesmaid who had no money on many different occasions and would’ve appreciated a gesture of hair or makeup being covered.
“I vowed I would do it differently for my own if I ever got married.”
That contributor said they planned to cover dresses, hair and makeup for their own wedding: “Some say it’s extravagant, but they have to travel for my wedding and that’s enough for me.”
As more couples shift away from traditional planning, many are rethinking the financial expectations they place on their closest friends.
Another Reddit pundit weighed in with a pragmatic take: “Definitely pay for something… hair, nails, etc., if you are requiring them to have them professionally done. Or if they have to buy matching shoes, you could pay for them.
“So much better than a gift that will end up at Goodwill.”
Footing the Bills
The concern voiced among the 300 comments in the thread reflects a broader uncertainty over who should foot the bill for what, especially with weddings becoming more elaborate.
According to Brides, it’s typical for bridesmaids to cover their own attire, but anything mandatory—like professional hair or makeup—should be paid for by the couple.
“In our opinion, if you are requiring the bridal party to get professional hair and make up without another option to DIY, then the [couple] should be open to paying for their bridesmaids’ services,” planner Laura Ritchie told the magazine.
Bachelorette parties also sit in a gray zone. Bridesmaids are expected to pay for reasonable, local celebrations, but costs spiral quickly with destination events.
“If you’re having an expensive destination wedding, skip the expensive destination bachelorette party,” planner Annie Lee told Brides.
The Chateau Joli Venue website breaks down expenses further, noting that bridesmaids usually pay for dresses, accessories and travel—but if the couple has specific requirements, it’s courteous to subsidize or cover those costs.
“Make sure you give your wedding party enough time to save,” the guide advises.
Keepsake or Relief?
Back on Reddit, chapstix0314 said she was considering skipping traditional bridesmaid gifts: “I think it would be much more valuable to offer to pay for something for the wedding instead, whether that be hair, shoes, nails, etc.”
The OP asked readers: would bridesmaids prefer that practical support, or a more personalized token on the day of the wedding?
That, too, revealed a split. Some appreciated the thought of a keepsake, while others favored real financial relief.
One contributor suggested: “Could you pay for a vehicle rental and/or hotel room for them to share for the bach party? Not having to drive separately and pay for fuel would likely be appreciated.”
Newsweek has reached out to chapstix0314 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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