Finding out I was pregnant with my fourth child is a moment I will never forget. My husband and I already have three boys, but I was so excited to be going through it all again and welcoming baby number four.
Of course, as a labor and delivery nurse, I know everything that can go wrong. Even though I had done this three times before, I could never really shake the nerves during my routine appointments. Especially as I turned 35 during that pregnancy, so I was considered advanced maternal age and had to see a high-risk specialist.
During my 20-week anatomy scan, the sonographer finished the ultrasound and handed us the pictures of our baby. My husband and I said how different this baby looked compared to our sons. We weren’t finding out the gender, but I jokingly said it was probably because it was a girl. However, the specialist came in shortly after and our world was quickly turned upside down.
We were informed that our baby had an absent nasal bone and while it could be completely normal, it was also a soft marker for Down syndrome. She then proceeded to say we needed to do an NIPT test and amniocentesis to confirm before we could schedule a termination. I remember thinking, how was all of that said in one breath? How could she tell me this might be normal and then offer us a termination? I was almost 21 weeks pregnant and had a hard time stomaching how this conversation was being presented.
She must have noticed the look of pure shock on my face because then she said that, if we chose to continue with the pregnancy, we should let her know and she would get excited for us during the appointments. I was in complete and utter disbelief that a conversation that would completely change our lives was handled in such a nonchalant way.
I felt sick to my stomach. It was like being in a bad dream that I could not wake up from.
‘Termination Was Not an Option’
The first few weeks felt incredibly heavy. I knew all along that termination was not an option for our family, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t struggle immensely. In my mind, life as I knew it was over. Looking back now, I wish I could go back and reassure myself, but I needed to process the diagnosis on my own terms.
I became disconnected from the pregnancy at times and tried to emotionally protect myself while I processed everything. There was still love and hope, but it was mixed with fear and uncertainty, and I had to work through all of that as the pregnancy continued. I went from being excited and enjoying my pregnancy to feeling terrified. I worried about what life would look like for us as a family, how it would affect my other children, and I questioned my ability to be a good mom.
I couldn’t picture life after the baby was born. Part of me wanted to stay pregnant forever just to avoid facing whatever came next.
Little did I know that the little girl I was carrying would become the perfect finishing touch to our family. Aria was born with Down syndrome on July 10, 2025 weighing 6 pounds and 1 ounce. I felt an overwhelming flood of relief the moment our eyes met. It felt like everything was right in the world. All my worries and reservations disappeared, and I only felt love for this tiny baby.
We were able to spend 10 wonderful hours with Aria after the delivery, and my sons were able to meet her during that time. Following that, she was taken to the NICU for oxygen support, which is not uncommon among babies with Down syndrome. At 7 days old, she was transferred to a higher level of care as she was diagnosed with transient abnormal myelopoiesis, a blood disorder where the body produces too many immature blood cells. Thankfully, hers was a mild case and resolved naturally after a few months.
‘My Daughter is More Than a Diagnosis’
Aria is just like any other baby as she is healthy, meeting her milestones and continues to thrive. She laughs, smiles, rolls over, and tries to keep up with her big brothers. Time will tell how this diagnosis may impact her as she grows, but what I do know is that she is incredibly loved, and I truly believe that with the amount of support, encouragement, and love she receives, she will live a very full life.
I so badly wish we received more compassion and empathy during such life-changing news. But that conversation about termination ultimately led me to become an advocate for my daughter and other children with Down syndrome. Their lives have purpose and meaning, and my daughter is so much more than a diagnosis.
That day lit a fire in me to bring awareness to this experience.
I completely understand that healthcare professionals are required to present patients with all available options, but what I struggle with is how casually termination at almost 21 weeks was presented. I was incredibly fortunate that my OB, who I consider a friend, gave me the support I desperately needed. He validated my feelings, listened and gave me space to share how I felt.
I spent much of my pregnancy worrying about what would happen next, and because of that, I don’t think I fully allowed myself to enjoy it. That’s something I still carry guilt over. But Aria has changed me in ways I never thought possible. She has brought so much joy to so many people. She is fiercely loved, adored, and I am infinitely better because of her.
I want other families to know that there can still be so much joy, love, and beauty. My daughter is not defined by Down syndrome. She is deeply loved, incredibly special, and absolutely deserving of life and acceptance.
Samantha Robinson, 35, who resides in the Midwest, has become an advocate for Down syndrome awareness after welcoming her daughter last year. She started sharing her family’s journey on TikTok (@robinsonjoycrew4) to offer support and hope to others going through a similar diagnosis. She aims to show that Aria is more than her diagnosis and can still lead a fulfilling life.
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