DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old woman who’s never been in any sort of relationship with a man and, yes, I’m a virgin. For some reason, I am surrounded by women at school and at work. The one time I tried dating a colleague, it turned into the office romance from hell. I was publicly rejected, and he ended up with another female colleague. Since then, there has been — nothing.
I’m resigned to not being in a relationship, but at this point, I want to stop being a virgin. I’m considering hiring an escort to help me with my issue in a last-ditch attempt to experience what it’s like. I’m tired of waiting for that one man who will probably never show. Should I go ahead with my escort plan or keep waiting aimlessly like an idiot? — ALONE AND CONFUSED IN NEW YORK
DEAR ALONE: I recommend against it. For a man, this might be a solution. However, for women, it helps to have some feeling for one’s partner for the experience to be satisfactory, and that element would be missing with an escort. Consider discussing this with a licensed therapist to understand why your romantic relationships may not be happening, because there is definitely a reason.
DEAR ABBY: I have a grown daughter who is most likely an alcoholic. I am not a doctor, so I really don’t know. We live in different cities. A few years ago, she was sitting on the sidewalk outside her apartment dead drunk and holding a lit cigarette. Someone saw her passed out and called the police, who took her to jail. To this day, she accuses me of having called the police. It wasn’t me. I didn’t know what was happening. This makes me furious. I have no reason to lie to her.
The next morning, her boss called me looking for her. We found out later she had been arrested. After talking with her boss, I did phone the police to ask if maybe she was at the station. I live 30 miles away. I’m angry because I’m being falsely accused. I know I need to let this go, but she triggers me every time she brings it up, and it’s been five years! Please help me. — DRAMA MAMA IN TEXAS
DEAR DRAMA MAMA: Whoever called the police to report that there was a woman passed out on the curb did your daughter a favor. She was vulnerable and was taken to safety. Whatever your daughter’s problem is, whether it’s alcohol, some other substance or mental health issues, she is clearly a troubled individual. When she accuses you, don’t bother getting into an argument with her. Reiterate that whoever it was did her a favor and then change the subject.
DEAR READERS: At sundown, the first night of Passover begins. This major Jewish holiday celebrates the most momentous event in Jewish history — the liberation of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. Happy Passover to my readers who observe this important holiday. — LOVE, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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