A post about a couple wanting to stay at a friend’s home for longer than originally planned has gone viral on Reddit, sparking debate about houseguest etiquette on the platform.
Shared by u/TeeBrownie in the r/AmItheA****** subreddit, the poster asks whether it was unreasonable to “kick my houseguests out 11 hours before their flight is scheduled to leave.” The post has garnered 11,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments since it was posted a week ago on April 16.
The poster, who did not share her name, told Newsweek that she resides in a north Texas suburb near Dallas.
“My friend and his wife have made plans to visit us this summer for a weekend stay. The flight is two hours, so not a really long journey for them,” she wrote in the post.
But tension emerged over a mismatch in expectations. The Redditor explained that she planned to take a personal day off work after her guests’ departure to rest and recover from hosting duties.
Before the friend booked the flights, the poster’s husband inadvertently mentioned that she wouldn’t be working the Monday following their visit. Her friend then scheduled a red-eye flight late Monday night, effectively extending their stay beyond the agreed weekend time frame.
“To that I responded that I will be taking them to the airport as early as 8 a.m. Monday morning so I can have my day of rest like I planned,” the poster said.
The friend later admitted to booking the Monday flight, as it was cheaper, the poster said, adding in a later comment that “he’s certainly not going to pay for an Uber.”
The guest’s desire to hitch a ride with the poster is not surprising, as journeys with either Uber or Lyft from airports into major cities in the United States were found to cost as high as $79.96 from JFK International Airport in New York City, according to a survey conducted in July 2023 by FinanceBuzz.
Etiquette expert Genevieve “Jenny” Dreizen, COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, told Newsweek: “This is an uncomfortable situation. But it does feel like one of those situations where someone being upset with your boundaries is because they were benefiting from the perceived lack of boundaries.”
‘Horrible Friend’
The friend in the viral Reddit post pushed back, questioning why the couple couldn’t stay and hang out at the house until their flight.
“I told them that they are more than welcome to leave their luggage here if they want to go explore on their own, but we will not be hosting them or playing tour guide after Monday morning,” u/TeeBrownie wrote, adding that “he’s now accusing me of being a horrible friend and his wife says we’re Ahs [a*******].”
In a follow-up interview with Newsweek, the poster explained that tensions lingered even after the confrontation.
“A few days after the blow-up, I gave him a call to explain that I didn’t think it was a good idea for them to stay with us when they visit,” she said. “Before I could start, he apologized for booking the flight on Monday without confirming they could spend the extra day with us and for saying I was a horrible friend.”
Yet the apology didn’t erase all of the hurt.
“When I brought up the fact that his wife called us a*******, he denied that. This confirms for me that she forgot his phone audio was on speaker during our conversation and probably says things like this about us often,” she said.
Despite the drama, she tried to offer a compromise. “I proceeded to explain that we could meet up at some point if they decide to come to town, but that they couldn’t stay with us. I even told him that I could recommend some things they could do during their trip.”
Dreizen emphasized the importance of honoring personal space, noting “just because you’re not working does not make you available.” She applauded the poster for making her boundaries clear, criticizing the friend for making the host “feel poorly about naming and holding them.”
‘Entitled’ or ‘Least Gracious Host’
Reaction on Reddit was split, with many users defending the host’s decision to enforce personal boundaries.
U/Worth-Season3645 commented: “NTA [not the a******]….He refuses to pay for a ride share? Oh no, no, no…They can figure out their own way to the airport…No one abuses my hospitality and calls me an ahole.”
Another user, u/FireflyRave, added: “Plans were made for friends to visit for 3 nights (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) and leave on Monday morning… OP [original poster] could have only wanted to sit on her couch and stare at the wall all day and those would still be her valid plans…”
Others were less sympathetic, criticizing the host’s firm stance. U/Otherwise-Abroad-959 said: “YTA [you’re the a******] – they shouldn’t feel entitled to your time or transportation but intentionally taking them to the airport as early as possible and expecting them to sit there all day is an a****** move.”
U/Ok_Sea_4405 said: “ESH [everyone sucks here] Your friends are not being unreasonable by asking you to spend Monday with them…But you sound like the least gracious host in town…You sound exhausting.”
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