A woman in her first trimester has been left reeling after a friend responded coolly to her pregnancy announcement, telling her the announcement exceeded her “mental bandwidth.”
The exchange prompted 2,900 comments on Reddit within two days from readers weighing in on friendship expectations during major life moments.
The original poster (OP) wrote that she was dealing with intense nausea and fatigue early in pregnancy and decided to tell a small group of friends for support. One pal responded enthusiastically.
Another replied with messages including, “This is too much for me today,” and, “I don’t have the mental bandwidth for this information,” adding that it was, “a really big thing to lay on someone.”
‘Her response screams’
The OP turned to fellow Redditors: “I get that everyone’s overwhelmed, but I wasn’t expecting my fetus to be emotionally burdensome,” asking if she was overreacting, or if the response was “wild.”
Supporters were unequivocal: “She had no problem talking about her stuff, but when it came to your news she was exhausted,” one pointed out, adding, “Her response screams poor friend.”
Another person quipped, “It’s like you took away her 401k.”
A contributor asked the OP, “Is your friend normally the one that demands to be the center of attention? Her response here reads as if she is trying to take the spotlight off of you and your good news and redirect the conversation back to her.”
The OP later agreed with that assessment.
“Yessss, literally everything is about her,” she replied.
“I kinda felt like this text thread was an awakening for me about our dynamic [laugh out loud], but I wasn’t sure, so that’s why I posted here.”
The exchange touched on a common tension that can surface when friendships collide with major life changes such as pregnancy.
According to the therapy site Exploring Therapy, “Not all friendships are meant to last forever,” and shifts in life stages can reveal gaps that were previously easy to overlook, according to an April essay on recognizing when a friendship no longer fits who you are.
The same article notes that, “Sometimes a friendship doesn’t always fit us perfectly forever,” framing distance as a normal outcome rather than a failure.
Shifting Connections
Psychology Today has also addressed similar patterns. “A friendship with a lot of ups and downs can negatively impact your stress level and health,” the publication wrote in a March 2023 article examining signs that a friendship may be nearing its end.
The piece adds that feeling drained after interactions or sensing a lack of mutual support can signal that the connection has shifted.
For many readers, the issue was not the friend feeling overwhelmed on a given day, but the framing of the pregnancy itself as an emotional burden. Several commenters noted that big news often lands imperfectly, yet empathy remains a baseline expectation.
The OP did not say whether she plans to confront the friend or step back, but her replies suggest the interaction prompted reflection. What began as a bid for shared joy became a moment of clarity about what support looks like, and who is willing to offer it, when life changes arrive whether or not everyone feels ready.
Newsweek has reached out to Lekomano92 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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