A bride’s thoughtful attempt to create a unique yet sophisticated dress code for her upcoming wedding has opened a lively discussion online.
In a Reddit post, u/RiverPixyStyx shared her proposed dress code, describing her Irish wedding as “upscale, but not stuffy” and hoping for a “whimsical” vibe. The dress code, which she described as “cocktail to formal attire,” provided specific suggestions for gentlemen, suits and trousers, and ladies, evening gowns or cocktail dresses. Since the post was published, it has received 10,000 upvotes and prompted a discussion about her choices.
Newsweek spoke to wedding and relationship expert Gemma Logan about her opinion on the dress code, and how the bride could amend it further.
While the bride’s intentions were to give guests flexibility and encourage them to have fun with their outfits, the online community had mixed reactions. Many felt the options were too broad and could lead to confusion and anxiety for guests.
The Reddit post’s top comments were quick to point out the potential for guests to feel underdressed or overdressed.
“I say this with kindness,” one person wrote. “You’re way overthinking and overexplaining this.” They advised the bride to pick one dress code. “Cocktail or formal? Pick one.”
The user explained that too many options can cause “confusion, annoyance and potential embarrassment.” Another commenter echoed this sentiment, stating, “If I had to attend, I’d have no idea where to begin. I never want to be underdressed but if I wear cocktail and everyone else is wearing evening gowns, I’m going to feel bad.”
Another critique highlighted the disconnect between the two requests.
“It’s wild to ask men to do the bare minimum cocktail attire and then ask women to wear evening gowns, which is black tie attire,” they wrote.
According to Logan, a wedding and relationship expert at The Foxy Hen, dress codes are often a “minefield because they sit at the intersection of personal style, social etiquette and guest comfort.”
“What feels like a simple request to the couple can quickly spiral into a source of confusion or stress for guests,” she said.
Expert Advice on Clarity and Inclusivity
Logan said she believes the bride is “almost there” with her vision, but could benefit from a few tweaks to her wording.
The bride wondered if she should remove the gendered language—”gentlemen” and “ladies”—to be more inclusive. Logan said she fully supports this idea, calling it “a smart move to remove the gendered language or at least soften it.”
She offered an inclusive wording suggestion: “We’d love to see everyone in cocktail to formal attire such as suits, dresses or whatever makes you feel great and fits the vibe: polished and celebratory.”
Ultimately, Logan’s advice is for the bride to trust her instincts but to tweak the language slightly. “And maybe throw in a sentence about how excited they are to see everyone dressed up and ready to dance,” she said. “After all, that’s the real goal. Guests don’t want to disappoint. They just want to feel sure they’ve got it right. A bit of guidance with a wink of fun is the perfect mix.”
Newsweek reached out to u/RiverPixyStyx for comment via Reddit.
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