A lively debate has been sparked after an American woman claimed that Australian men don’t engage in this particular sex act.
The woman, who is currently traveling the world and was recently in Sydney, gave her opinion on what it was like to date men from certain cultures.
For Australians, she claimed guys would have no issue maintaining an online relationship with a woman for several months but, when they finally meet up, would refuse to engage in giving her oral sex.
In a follow-up video, she said that so many people had contacted her to inform her that they’d had similar experiences.
“Women are suffering out here,” she claimed.
But many social media users were incredibly quick to disagree.
“Literally only had one ex who wouldn’t and I very quickly said ‘bye’,” one social media user said.
One said, “Everyone I have met has loved it.”
“I’m 30, I’ve lived in Australia my whole life. I’ve never had this issue,” another commented.
One commented, “Not my Aussie experience, come on over to Melbourne.”
“I have never had this problem … quite the opposite,” one said.
Another commented, “I’m 55, a woman and never had this happen.”
“Yeah, nah. I’ve never had that problem,” one said.
Another added, “Are you sure? As an Australian I cannot relate.”
One said, “Not true! My husband is Australian and he’s an amazing lover on all levels. We have been together for 27 years! I’m always smiling.”
“That’s not true. At least not for me,” another said.
A handful of people agreed with her, saying it made an “awful evening retrospectively make sense”, while one said, “It depends”.
Christine Rafe, Lovehoney’s Sex and Relationship Expert, said there isn’t strong, recent data to compare countries when it comes to oral sex.
Studies and surveys on the taboo topic are inconsistent. However, a survey conducted at Melbourne Sexual Health Centre between March and April 2019 of 709 people showed that most participants had received oral sex in the three months prior.
The proportion did not differ by any age group or gender, but women were more likely to perform it, with 93.4 per cent of women engaging in the act compared to 82.6 per cent of men.
However, research does consistently show that oral sex is a very common part of adult sexual behavior in many Western cultures — including Australia.
Rafe said that people should be cautious about making sweeping statements.
“Some people share anecdotes about partners prioritizing other sexual activities over oral sex, and there will always be people who resonate with or who oppose those experiences because there is such a broad spectrum of sexual desires, interests and behaviors,” she said.
“What’s important here is separating individual experience from broad generalizations or what is reflected in data and research, and recognizing that sexual preferences and comfort with different acts vary widely from person to person, regardless of geography.”
She said there was a mix of comments in response to the viral video, adding, “Some were playful, some genuinely defensive, and some reflective, and I expected this type of range because of the variety of sexual behaviors and experiences across the population”.
“It’s worth remembering that a defensive reaction often comes from feeling misunderstood or unfairly caricatured. While sex is still a reasonably taboo and heavily censored topic online, there is often a heightened sensitivity to criticism about sexual skills,” she said.
“No one wants to be labeled as a bad or selfish lover, especially not a hetero man! When I’m reading through comments on posts like this, I am curiously looking out for patterns.
“For example, are there recurring themes about communication, confidence, or sexual education that might show gaps in education and research that would be worth talking about more openly?”
Rafe stressed that a partner can’t know what you like unless you tell them, and the best thing to do is encourage actions you want more of in a way that feels positive rather than critical.
“Many people avoid certain acts because they’re unsure of their skills or worried about performance. Encouragement and patience help,” she said.
“Focus on comfort and consent. No one should feel coerced into anything sexual, including specific acts; enthusiastic participation from both partners leads to better sexual experiences overall.”
She stressed that sexual satisfaction is highly individual and can sometimes change regularly.
“Oral sex is an important and enjoyable activity for many, but it’s not the only marker of a healthy sex life,” she said.
“What really matters is that partners feel heard, respected, and delighted by each other’s presence in and out of the bedroom, and that pleasure for all people involved in a sexual experience is centred.
“Rather than making this about ‘Australian men vs. the world,’ the real conversation worth having is about how we communicate about sex and pleasure with the people we’re with.”
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