A Brooklyn couple ready to tie the knot in June are approaching their wedding registry with an unconventional option for friends and family.
“Since we’re having a destination wedding, minimizing physical gifts makes things simpler, and not everyone feels drawn to contribute to a honeymoon,” says Eliza Palasz.
Palasz and her fiancé, Patrick Rooney, have planned a summer wedding in Canada. Their registry, which includes traditional options such as salad plates and air fryers, allows guests to contribute to a home down payment.
“A future home feels like a thoughtful, lasting investment that friends and family can be part of—no matter the size of their contribution,” says Palasz.
It’s not an uncommon request anymore — 48% of newlywed homeowners (buyers married within the past two years) actually asked for money toward their down payments instead of typical wedding gifts, according to a recent LendingTree survey. At the same time, a 2023 Realtor.com® survey found that 30% of wedding attendees are open to giving financial gifts toward homebuying expenses in lieu of more traditional presents.
Got the gift funds, now what?
Though 35% of newlywed homeowners say their wedding expenses delayed homeownership plans, receiving gift funds as part of a registry is definitely a way for couples to rebuild their coffers.
“We definitely don’t expect to receive enough for a full down payment right after the wedding — but whatever we do receive will absolutely be set aside for that purpose, because I’d honestly feel too guilty using it for anything else,” says Palasz. “This money will go toward a future home — it just might take a few years to get there.”
Rooney has definitely put thought into how he wants to manage any gifted monies they receive from their wedding registry.
“Depending on how quickly we are able to save up, I have a one-to-three year-ish plan, and a three-plus-year plan,” says Rooney, who is basically thinking mostly high-yield savings accounts or bonds. “It has to be money we could access quickly should an opportunity strike.”
The lowdown on using down payment gifts
“First and foremost, create a plan in preparation for buying a home to keep you on track,” says Rulon Washington, executive director of mortgage sustainability and business education for Wells Fargo.
This might include getting pre-approved for a mortgage to gain a clear understanding of how much money you’d need to save for a future down payment and closing costs, Washington explains.
Then consider how you’ll protect that money so you’re not tempted to use it for other expenses.
“To help you stay disciplined, you could create a separate account for your gift funds,” advises Washington.
Couples need to understand that down payment gifts come with rules depending on how much they received.
“Circumstances vary based on the type of loan you’re applying for, but generally, smaller increments of money are less of a hassle — the verification process becomes more cumbersome once that gift amount becomes larger,” says Washington.
In instances where there’s a large monetary gift, a lender will rely on a gift letter from the donor (that includes the name and contact info of the “gifter,” amount, date, and a statement of intent) to make sure the large amount being used is truly a gift and not a loan that needs to be repaid.
“One of the key documents used in a mortgage review is a consumer’s bank statement, which provides a clear snapshot of your various bank transactions, i.e., your paycheck, monthly spending, and current debt obligations,” says Washington. Unspecified lump sums of money in a borrower’s bank statement can raise a red flag, especially if those funds were recently deposited.
If the gift money has been in your account for at least two months before you apply for a mortgage, it’s less likely to be a major concern, though a gift letter might still be required.
Washington says that gifted funds that remain untouched for a longer period of time (over 60 days) will usually go under less scrutiny by an underwriter (the time frame helps reduce the need for more documentation), but this is all based on each lender’s specific requirements.
Turning a registry into real estate someday
Ultimately, Palasz and Rooney say they’d love to start with an apartment purchase in Brooklyn, where they’re currently renting. But for the long term, they both dream of having more space and being closer to nature.
“We each grew up near national parks and nature preserves, so having easier access to the outdoors, as well as being closer to our families, feels really important to us—especially if we have children someday,” says Palasz. “Eventually we’ll build a home together. But right now, we’re just excited to celebrate this moment with our closest family and friends.”
Both say they realize that real estate is expensive and it’s incredibly difficult to get in the game right now, especially in markets like New York. However, starting to save down payment funds feels like a true investment in their collective wealth. But until they can pull together enough, they’ll continue to rent.
“We’re so lucky to have a roof over our head, food to eat, to live in an amazing city, and be throwing a wedding in the mountains with all our friends and family,” says Rooney. “If we don’t get any down payment funds for our wedding, that’s OK. … Wherever Eliza is, that’s my home.”
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