Here comes the judge.
Michael Abber may be new to the Big Apple, but there’s one thing the West Coast native figured out right away — living in such close proximity can take its toll on a New Yorker’s nerves, and living with roommates even more so.
Now, the clever comedian is doing something to make life easier for his fellow citizens — solving spats between clashing cohabitants on the smash-hit social media show, “Roommate Court.”
“A lot of people living together in New York City, God bless them, do not have enough space to get along. That’s a luxury,” Abber, 27, told The Post.
Of course, his court is not a real one. And Abber is not a literal judge — although the jokester tells The Post he did take the practice LSATs, and was awarded “MVP” status in a high school mock trial thanks to his over-the-top theatrics.
Instead, his new series, from Gymnasium, a short-form video production company, sees the wannabe Wapner hand down his rulings over kooky, yet contentious disputes in less than three minutes.
With a governing style that’s a mix between Judge Judith “Judy” Sheindlin’s no-nonsense slant and TV life coach Iyanla Vanzant’s compassionate approach, the mediating millennial transforms the living rooms of the feuding friends into makeshift courtrooms.
Lugging his “plaintiff” and “defendant” podiums into their humble abodes, the funny man — armed with a handheld microphone rather than a gavel — permits both parties to make their arguments before delivering his decree.
“Production and I always make sure the roommates actually have conflicts. I think it’s only fun if it’s real,” said Abber, who refrains from knowing anything about the people or their issues until showtime. “The comedy of this comes from viewers identifying with the drama — and my reactions are real.”
“The roommates have to successfully stun me with their problems, which, so far, they absolutely have.”
Luckily for the mediator, there’s no shortage of in-house squabbles, especially in NYC, where Gen Zers are paying $2,100 a month to bunk with 23 roomies, and older Baby Boomers are sharing a roof as “boom-mates” to beat rent inflation.
To preside over each suit, Abber doesn’t suit up in a classic jurist’s robe.
The faux official, instead, dons what he calls a “David Byrne-meets-public defender” look, a distinguished yet slightly disheveled uniform comprised of a thrifted gray suit, a white collared shirt and crimson red necktie.
Since making its virtual debut in May, “Roommate Court” has amassed over 10,000 TikTok followers, attracting online audiences with curious cases such as the “Throuple from Hell (Bushwick)” and the “Cat Daddy Conflict.”
The throuple found themselves at odds when one roommate, Maisie, began dating the other roommate Dennis’s ex-girlfriend Anna, who was also their roommate. The trio agreed to keep their awkward current living arrangement — in exchange for burning Maisie’s prized possession.
As for the cat conundrum, the platonic foursome couldn’t decide who should have guardianship over Loosie, a stray kitten who was already living in their apartment when they moved into the shared space.
“All four of the guys wanted custody over Loosie,” Abber laughed. “But, believe me, none of them were capable of caring for her on their own.”
As a resolution to their feline feud, he made the men put aside their differences and clean out the kitty’s poop-filled litter box as a unit.
“I am in the business of finding the cheapest possible solution that will stand for the longest possible time,” said Abber. “It’s kind of like the public healthcare of decision-making.”
Beefing buddies Kaden Robinson and Jake “Cleo” Besser were another recent success story. The troubled twosome, recent Fashion Institute of Technology grads living with three other guys above a Greek restaurant in Bushwick, recently tapped Abber to remedy their fight over a rare Tyler, the Creator vinyl.
“Cleo and I made a deal that I’d trade him a Planet of the Apes T-shirt and A$AP Worldwide hat for his Tyler, the Creator ‘Cherry Bomb’ vinyl, which is a record store exclusive,” Robinson, 23, a fashion buyer, told The Post. “We shook on it.”
But when Besser learned that the record had appreciated in value, skyrocketing up to $350, he wanted to renege on the deal.
“I looked up its value and was like, ‘Wait, this isn’t a fair trade.’ I felt misled,” said Besser, 21, a fashion and music video creative director. “I was like, ‘We gotta take it to court.’”
The troubled twosome, along with their roommate Ben, let Abber orchestrate a more even swap, permitting Besser to take one of Robinson’s beloved golf clubs.
“It was great,” said Besser. “[Abber] was a great judge and it was good to get an outside perspective and unbiased opinion — ‘Roommate Court’ is one of those ‘only in New York’ kind of things.”
And Abber, a roommate himself, agrees.
“If I leave this world and people living together in New York City are doing their own dishes and putting their garbage in the trash can,” he said, “I’ll have fulfilled my purpose.”
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