Losing a spouse is deeply challenging, especially for those not used to managing finances. We discuss with H. Jude Boudreaux, senior financial planner at The Planning Center based in New Orleans, the initial steps that can help ease the fear and confusion during this difficult time.
Larry Light: From your experience, what are the biggest financial challenges that new widows encounter after losing a spouse?
H. Jude Boudreaux: The emotional toll of losing a spouse is overwhelming, and that alone makes handling financial tasks incredibly difficult. Many widows have never managed household finances before, and suddenly they’re responsible for everything—from paying bills to making investment decisions. The most immediate challenge is simply knowing where to start.
Light: What are the first steps you recommend for someone in this situation?
Boudreaux: The first priority is gathering all the essential documents. This includes the will or trust, life insurance policies, Social Security information, investment and retirement account statements, and a death certificate—at least a dozen copies, since they’re needed for various claims. Once those are in order, it’s important to meet with an estate planning attorney to review beneficiary distributions and begin updating account names where necessary.
Light: You mention Social Security. What should widows know about that process?
Boudreaux: The Social Security Administration needs to be notified right away. Widows may be entitled to survivor benefits, but the amount and eligibility depend on their age and their spouse’s work history. It’s crucial to check whether their benefits need to be adjusted, as this can have a significant impact on their financial stability.
Light: What about managing debt and other financial obligations?
Boudreaux: It’s essential to get a full picture of all outstanding debts. It is a good idea for widows to request their spouse’s credit reports from all three major credit bureaus. This helps to check on any loans, credit card balances, or other liabilities. At the same time, they should file any remaining health insurance claims to avoid unexpected medical bills.
Light: You mentioned that grief plays a big role in financial decision-making. How can widows navigate that process without feeling overwhelmed?
Boudreaux: It’s important to recognize that grieving and financial recovery go hand in hand. Psychologist J. William Worden describes four key tasks of grief: accepting the loss, experiencing the pain, adjusting to a new environment and investing energy in new directions. Each of these applies to financial decisions, as well. For example, it may take months before a widow is emotionally ready to handle financial matters, and even longer before making big decisions like selling a home or changing investment strategies. Taking small, manageable steps is key.
Light: But what if a widow—it’s most often the female spouse—has never handled financial decisions before?
Boudreaux: This is where building a support team is crucial. A widow should not feel like she has to do everything alone. Working with a wealth advisor, estate attorney and accountant can provide structure and clarity. Even bringing a trusted friend or family member to meetings can help, serving as emotional support and providing an extra set of ears.
Light: In your experience, how long does it take for a widow to feel financially independent?
Boudreaux: It varies from person to person. Some widows may start feeling more confident within six months to a year, while others take longer. The key is to move forward at a comfortable pace while focusing on their immediate needs—like paying bills and securing income sources—are met. Over time, with the right guidance, widows can regain control and build a strong financial future.
Light: Finally, what advice would you give to women who are currently married but want to be better prepared in case they face widowhood in the future?
Boudreaux: The best thing any married woman can do is to get involved in financial planning now. Know where important documents are kept, understand how bills are paid, and have a relationship with your financial advisor. Having these conversations ahead of time can make a world of difference if the unexpected happens.
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