A Gen X mom’s emotional realization after dropping her fifth child off at college is going viral.
Carole Jones, 53, posted a reel on Instagram (@thecarolejones) in tears as she explained her new “painful” reality.
As a mom of six, there used to be packed schedules, endless laundry, messy rooms and noise that left her desperate for quiet. But now, with five of her children grown and the fifth just dropped off at college, she’s facing a silence she never expected would hurt so much.
“If you would have told me 15 years ago that a quiet house would be painful to my heart, I would have laughed in your face,” Jones said in her reel. “Fifteen years ago when I had six kids at a home, it was a disaster. I was just so overwhelmed. And now, my poor youngest is the only one left at home… and it’s so quiet.”
Jones is what’s commonly known as an empty nester—a parent whose children have grown up and moved out of the family home, leaving behind a quieter household and new stage of life.
As of 2022, there were roughly 20.9 million empty-nest households in the U.S., according to real estate company Zillow.
Jones, who shares Tori, 30, Benjamin, 28, Luke, 25, Elisabeth, 21, Jonathan 18, and Micah, 15, with husband Don, 55, told Newsweek that the transition from a bustling household to a quieter one has been more like a process of grief.
“The hardest part of going from a full, busy house to a quieter one now is that I know the change is a permanent one,” Jones said. “Even though my kids come back for visits, this will never again be ‘home’ in the same way. School, work and relationships will be calling them back to their new lives, and the grief of that loss is very real.”
Still, Jones has found ways to cope. Micah, Don, and her 85-year-old parents—who live with her—keep her days from being too still.
And when the house feels too quiet, she calls in reinforcements: her two grandchildren. “I invite my grandkids over for a sleepover,” Jones said. “Filling my house with their joy, noise and mess for a couple of days makes it feel like a home again.”
Rhian Lindley, a positive psychology and reinvention coach, told Newsweek that an empty nest can feel like a “seismic shift” for parents.
“When they leave home, it’s not just about missing them—it’s about redefining who you are without the constant role of ‘parent on duty’,” she said. “This transition can stir up feelings of grief, loneliness and even anxiety about the future.”
Lindley, who has seen three children off to university, said it’s good for parents to allow those emotions without judgment.
“Think of this stage as a new chapter, not an ending,” she said. “With the right mindset and support, an empty nest can become a time of rediscovery, growth and even excitement about what comes next, and a transition into your new stage of life and parenting.”
Jones’ reel has clocked up over a million views and hundreds of comments from other users. Her emotional honesty served as a reminder to parents with younger children who may crave time alone.
“As a mom (three kids under 11) who is never in a quiet house and craves being alone, I needed this reminder,” one user wrote.
“I’m in the thick of it with six kids at home with little to no patience many days. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you find a new groove soon,” another wrote.
And while the sadness is real, Jones said this new chapter has brought some unexpected freedoms.
With less laundry and fewer meals to cook, she has finally been able to pour her energy into her content business, which has grown beyond what she ever imagined.
She and her husband are now traveling to places they once skipped because the kids would have found them “boring.”
For other parents experiencing empty nest syndrome, Jones advised they give themselves space to grieve this phase of their lives.
“There will be people telling you to get a hobby, a dog, to travel, to move on and focus on you,” Jones said. “But before you take that next step, you are allowed to first honor the life that is over and do so in ways that are best for you.”
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