The season of the witch and All Hallow’s Eve are upon us, and with them, the call to release our inhibitions and cover our corporeal forms with costume.
The tradition of masquerading reaches back to the ancient Celts, who dressed themselves in animal hides to ward off the dead that visited the earthly plane at the end of every harvest season.
Since Christianity penned up the pagans and bled us of our more rollicking rituals, costuming has evolved into a sort of competitive sport of sexiness and terror.
In her infinite, brunette wisdom, “Peanuts,” character Lucy Van Pelt advised, “A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her personality.”
Given that most costumes tip the scales on sexy, it would seem we should all be getting it on and taking it off with a bit more fervor.
Who can wear the least and scare the most? With a sea of costumes to choose from and aesthetics to settle on, we’ve organized a list of recommendations based on the ever-turning wheel of the zodiac signs.
Read on, and Happy Halloween!
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Wonder Woman
Bold Aries lives for risk and loves a hero’s journey, making Wonder Woman a fine costume choice. A 1970s-era DC calendar lists Wonder Woman’s birthday as March 22, making the s(hero) herself an Aries.
The controversial psychologist and bondage enthusiast credited with creating Wonder Woman described the character as “psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who, I believe, should rule the world.”
Tall boots and tall orders Aries is more than equipped to fill.
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
If Aries were a convenience store staple, it would be the finger-staining, hysteria-inducing, fire-breathing Flamin’ Hot Cheeto.
Never afraid to go big and rarely in the mood to go home, Aries is well suited, er bagged, to rep this cult favorite corn chip.
Velociraptor
Into full force at high speeds, Aries is the Velociraptor of the zodiac. Rams can pay homage to their prehistoric counterpart with an inflatable costume that goes from heap on the floor to full-blown apex predator in under two minutes.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Venus
Taurus is ruled by Venus, planet of attraction and attachment. Named for the goddess of love, beauty, and fertility, bulls can lean in by dressing as Venus herself, draped in ivy, and passing out pomegranates to plebeians.
Matador
It takes a lot to provoke the ire of a Taurus, but betrayal, cheap sheets, sour wine, and a scarcity of snacks are surefire ways to make the people of the bull see red. In honor of their animal symbol and sacred rage, we suggest the provocateur of bovines, ladies and gentlemen, the mustached matador.
Slice of pizza
This costume selection is a shoutout to my Taurus bestie who, in an attempt to soothe herself after a particularly grueling work day, had her partner go down on her while she commenced to eat a delicious slice of pizza.
Pleasure is birthright, and pizza is the carb heart of the bull, making this costume an apt selection for Taureans one and all.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Princess Leia
The internet rarely agrees on anything, but geeks concur that quick-witted, fast acting, one-line leveling, street-fighting Princess Leia of the Star Wars universe is a Gemini. Twins will appreciate that the hallmark hairstyle of this costume provides a space bun for each of their personalities.
Mad Hatter
Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication and exchange, and Lewis Carrol’s afflicted milliner is a chatterbox built to spill the tea, literal and metaphorical.
Further, the term “mad as a hatter,” relates to the Mercury poisoning that befell workers in the hat trade throughout the 18th and 19th centuries, overexposure to the the toxin during the felt making process resulted in tremors, hallucinations and emotional volatility.
Nine-tailed fox
In myth, Mercury, AKA Hermes, was the trickster god of the pantheon, a mischievous shapeshifter type who caused trouble and talked a lot of trash.
In Chinese myth, the nine-tailed fox fulfills a similar archetype.
As the historian Guo Pu describes, “Such beings are able to know things at more than a thousand miles’ distance; they can poison men by sorcery, or possess and bewilder them, so that they lose their memory and knowledge.”
It tracks folks, and this meticulously detailed piece of otherworldly pageantry will make for a conversation-starting costume for Geminis.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Nurse
Highly intuitive and in tune with the needs of others, Cancers are the natural caretakers of the zodiac, making a nurse costume an apt choice.
Cancers can also opt to pay homage to pop and fellow crab Ariana Grande with a sky high pony tail and a vinyl bunny mask
Werewolf
Werewolves, like Cancers themselves, are ruled by the moon and fall under the spell of its waxing, waning, and wanting. Werewolves are pack animals and close family ties are likewise important to Cancer folk.
Both natives and werewolves are highly defensive and prone to erratic behavior.
Moon
As established, the moon, with its tidal pulls, menstrual blood, and many moods, is the luminary that rules the cardinal waters of Cancer. This inflatable, unisex get-up pairs well as a compliment to the aforementioned werewolf or any other crush/object of affection/obsession a Cancer might revolve around.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Starfire
Leo is ruled by the sun, and the sun is a star on fire; ipso facto, Starfire is a Leo. DC.com describes her as, “quick to make friends and quicker still to become the center of attention wherever she goes. ..her sometimes naive persona should never result in her being taken for granted—under it lies the fierce heart of a once and future Tamaranian queen.”
Center of attention? Fierce heart and regal bearing? Big-time Leo vibes.
Macho Man Randy Savage
Leo rules the fifth house of play, and lions are theatrical by nature. There is perhaps no better nor more appropriate way to channel that energy than in an homage to fringe-loving, leopard print rocking, 80s king of the wrestling ring, ladies and gentlemen, Randy Macho Man Savage.
Polaroid camera
It’s no secret that Leos love to document and be documented, making the Polaroid camera a wonderful way for them to honor the spirit of their sign. Add to the mix, or shoot as it were, that artist, iconoclast, and Polaroid propagator Andy Warhol was himself a member of the lion pride.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Little Red Riding Hood
Virgo rules the bowels, and in certain versions of this fairy tale, our fair Little Red is swallowed whole but later cut free and living from the belly of the hungry wolf.
In the major arcana of the tarot, Virgo is associated with the Hermit card, which features a hooded figure that holds the lantern of enlightenment.
If we view the tale of Little Red Riding Hood as one of retreat, initiation, and consciousness through trial, she is nothing if not a hotter incarnation of the Hermit archetype.
Angel
Virgo is Latin for Virgin, and the gospel, according to Kevin Smith’s “Dogma,” argues that angels have no genitalia, making them, by all measures of the imagination, exemplary and eternal virgins.
All wings no balls if you will.
Tequila
Little known fact about Virgos? Their reputation as studious sticks in the mud is a bit misguided as these people know how to party and where to draw the line between letting loose and blacking out. Little known fact about tequila? It’s actually a probiotic making it the perfect elixir for the efficient, healthy hedonist that lives in each and every Virgo.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Barbie
Libra is ruled by Venus, planet of aesthetics and is the sign associated with justice and partnership.
Enter Barbie, a Mattel distillation of unrealistic yet enduringly aspirational beauty standards. On the uptick, Barbie has given women the gift of believing they deserve a hot partner willing to coordinate outfits, a dream home to call their own and a hot pink sports car, so it ain’t all bad.
Vampire
In a serious and seriously Libra-esque PR move, British Romanticist and bon vivant Lord Byron rebranded vampires from gruesome ghoul to dashing, pallid aristocrat. Blood suckers have been damaged heart throbs ever since and no one plays a well dressed, emotionally wounded dude better than a Libra.
Judge
Represented by the scales and balances of justice and the Justice tarot card itself, Libra is synonymous with weighing, measuring and deducing accordingly.
Not for nothing, sharp tongued, gavel wielding Judge Judy is a card carrying Libra. Celebrate her, and the iconography of cardinal air with this four-piece costume.
Bonus points if you accessorize with a human heart and a feather in each hand in honor of the Egyptian, Libra adjacent goddess Maat.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Sally
In the Northern Hemisphere Scorpio season falls in the dark heart of autumn and Sally, the romantic humanoid rag doll from “A Nightmare Before Christmas” is appropriately stuffed with dead leaves.
A secretive sort, as most Scorpios are, Sally has a hard time revealing her love struck feels to dead eyed, extremistJack Skellington but shows no hesitation in poisoning her maker with nightshade. Scorpios are aces at resourcefulness and personal resurrection and Sally is no exception, literally stitching herself back together after a daring escape.
The affinity between Sally and Scorpios is perhaps best distilled in her singing a doomed love ballad to an audience of one single cat.
Chucky
When provoked or threatened, Scorpios seethe, spew dark humor and vow to get revenge at any cost, a vibe made manifest in evil, overall rocking, redhead Chucky. Scorpio rules the eighth house of sex, death and regeneration and time after time, sequel after sequel, everyone’s favorite murder doll has proven himself hard to kill and delightfully easy to resurrect.
Plague Doctor
Scorpio rules the eighth house of death and as such is less squeamish about life’s cycles and closures than other signs. This plague doctor costume speaks to that shadowy comfort and the scorpions preference for black robes and anonymity.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Cowgirl
The symbol for Sagittarius is the centaur and archers can get a leg, and a sexual innuendo, up by opting for a cowgirl costume.
More inclined towards good hearted bandits than boring law abiders, archers are encouraged to give it a go with this dark desperado number. Another option is to channel fellow Sagittarius Britney Spears in a red catsuit or “Toxic” flight attendant costume.
Pirate
Sagittarius rules the ninth house of philosophy and long distance travel. Enter the fabled pirate who takes to the high seas in search of strange shores, governed by the swashbuckling doctrine of further, more and take no prisoners.
Disco ball
Ruled by expansive, exuberarnt planet Jupiter, archers are inclined to have a good time all of the time, wherever the fates direct them. Adding an instant and rollicking party vibe to any scenario, be it baptism or BBQ, Sagittarans are the disco ball of the zodiac and can embody that honor with this facet forward accessory kit.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Devil
In the major arcana of the tarot, the sign of Capricorn is symbolized by the devil card. With cloven hooves and carnality in common, goats can get on board with being Beelzebub. For character inspiration see Black Philip in “The Witch.” Hoodies rock and Satan rules.
Eddie Munson from “Stranger Things”
As detailed in, “What ‘Stranger Things’ character are you based on your zodiac sign,” heavy metal hero Eddie Munson is pure sea goat. For cost conscious Capricorns, IE all of you, this costume is easy enough to DIY with a few thrift store finds and a little 80s can do.
Skeleton
Capricorns, industrious, stabilizing, enterprising mothertruckers that they are, rule the teeth and skeletal system and by practical extension, the realms of architecture and empire. This comfortable ode to the human chassis is practical, commanding and can be worn beyond the bounds of Halloween making the ROI hot and high.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Alien
As an air sign, Aquarius is charged with elevating and advancing human consciousness into the space age. It ain’t easy being a future leaning cosmic genius however, and more often than not, water bearers feel more alien than not, an isolationist pain that can easily be woven into costumed glory.
Hippie
They don’t call it “The Age of Aquarius” for nothing, folks. At their loosest and most liberated, water bearers are about radical freedom, untamed pubic hair, and the impassioned flying of the proverbial freak flag. Raise yours by DIY dressing like the hippies of yore or make like a fascist yuppie and click the link below.
Astronaut
Aquarius is ruled by both Saturn and Uranus and represents the very edge of things. In sign and spirit these are the people of space travel and dividing lines, going further, dreaming bigger and endlessly aided by the functionality of a utility suit. One zipper, zero limits.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the star
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Fairy
Pisces people lean hard into fantasy and in most cases prefer to see themselves as winged creatures flitting through an enchanted forrest rather than flightless humans walking the uninspired aisles of Trader Joe’s. Here’s your chance to take that flight of fancy, fam.
Clown
Neptune, the planetary ruler of Pisces, deals in dreams, creative inspiration, hallucinations, DMT and night terrors, and folks, there’s no figure that haunts the hellscape of sleep more vividly than the clown. Fun fact: real life killer clown and amateur painter John Wayne Gacy was a Pisces.
Cheshire Cat
Speaking in riddles, doling out advice that doubles as TJ Maxx/college dorm decor, mysteriously fading in and out of existence and definitely on a curious drug or four, Lewis Carol’s Cheshire Cat, the feline antihero of ‘Alice in Wonderland” gives real deal Pisces vibes. Clap back at the cat in this onesie getup.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the star
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture, and personal experience. To book a reading, visit her website.
Read the full article here
