“Where can I get a Donald Trump cap?” asks Graham Russell of Clovelly. “I am not a fan of Trump, but I do like the red cap.” Pretty sure the one he sent to Ms Harris would be up for grabs.

They’re made of stern stuff in The Riff – just ask Peter Riley: “Water off a duck’s back at being labelled ubiquitous (C8), Seppo Ranki. I’ve been called worse by Granny. Perhaps the Telegraph could start a similar column in competition. They could call it The 5th Column.”

“If there were a prize for the worst lemon (C8), my nomination would be the Hillman Imp, which could only survive sealed roads,” suggests John Taylor of Lithgow. “This lemon was rear-engined with no dust protection. It would travel about 30 miles, and then the air filter would be full of dust. Had the Imp for 10 months, of which time it was off the road for 10 weeks with engine rebuilds four times. Then the warranty ran out. It was only on the road for two years. In city driving, I had similar problems, but they took longer to manifest.”

“Talk of lemons reminds me of a joke about Russia’s Lada,” writes Doug Lindsay of Wamberal. “How do you double the value of your Lada? Answer: Fill it with petrol.”

Wrapping up the traffic talk for the day, Bob Doepel of Greenway (ACT) says, “John Curtin’s mention of his Datsun 180B reminded me of those days in PNG when the Datsun 240Z was affectionately known as the Datsun 24 Ounce.” Similarly, Brian Kidd of Mount Waverley (Vic) had a friend with a Datsun 260Z “which he christened, in fine imperial style, The Beer Bottle.”

We thought the account was closed, but Gail Grogan of Constitution Hill has a final Bankcard (C8) tale: “I was working at the Commonwealth Bank, Merrylands, when Bankcard was introduced. We worked overtime, going through the history cards to see who would be eligible based on their employment. I’d never heard of chicken sexers before, but there were a fair few, and being ‘specialised professionals’, they were added to the approved list. Sadly, domestic duties were a ‘no’.”

“I was bemused to hear a report on ABC News that 200,000 fans had descended on Mount Panorama,” says Philip Cooney of Wentworth Falls. “Unless dropped by parachute or via angelic hosts, surely one would ascend the mountain?”

Column8@smh.com.au

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