If cleanliness is next to godliness, then NYC’s basically heaven on Earth (kinda). 

Despite its vermin, trash-lined streets and only-in-New York smells, the Big Apple did not rank as one of the top 10 “Dirtiest Cities in America.”

It’s a miracle on 34th Street — and it’s not even Christmas. 

“From clean drinking water to sewage disposal, littered streets to missed garbage pick-ups, we analyzed 12.3 million sanitation-related 311 complaints in a series of U.S. cities to reveal which metropolises need to clean up their act,” wrote study authors from HouseFresh, an indoor air quality imprint. 

“We ranked locations based on the number of sanitation-related reports per 100,000 population.”

Shockingly, Baltimore, Maryland, landed the No. 1 spot as the dirtiest locale in all of the land. 

“With a staggeringly high complaint rate of 47,295 per 100,000 population, there seems to be a disconnect between the needs of the community and the cleanliness of the city,” investigators said. 

“[Baltimore] is home to six of the dirtiest ZIP codes,” they continued, “each located either in or around the city’s center.”

“The city has a surprisingly low complaint rate of 3,728 per 100,000 population — in comparison to the 21,616 complaints made by the inhabitants of the glamorous — albeit dry, dusty and dirty — Los Angeles,” the examiners said of the concrete jungle with praise. 

Not-so-high on the list, however, is New York City, which scored 17th on the roster of America’s top 23 yuckiest hubs. 

But, before Gothamites go parading down their relatively clean streets in celebration of the kind acknowledgements, it seems some of its boroughs are in need of some serious housekeeping. 

“We found that the highest-complaining ZIP code, with 7,664 reports, came from Brooklyn,” the analysts revealed.  

“With its population having risen by 6.8% since 2020, according to Best Places, Brooklyn is home to more than 2.5 million U.S. citizens and attracts hordes of tourists each year,” the experts explained. “With such a high turnover of people using the borough as their base, it’s no surprise that its cleanliness has suffered as a cost of its hospitality.”

Coming up roses, however, is New Hyde Park in Queens. The neighborhood’s 11040 ZIP code is the “cleanest” in the cosmopolis, according to the data. 

Elsewhere, securing the second-place slot is Sacramento, California, per the filthy findings. 

The capital city “houses the largest river in California, and its waters, according to a recent report from The Environmental Integrity Project, are some of the most polluted in the country,” read the report. 

However, a representative for the City of Sacramento issued a statement to HouseFresh, claiming that local officials encourage their residents to call 311 for “any Customer Service request they have, including routine collection services such as starting a new service or reporting a broken container lid.”

“This could explain why Sacramento ranks so high on this list,” noted the research team. 

NYC’s not-too-shabby ranking on the 2025 “dirtiest” list comes as an upgrade to its former status as the “world’s second dirtiest city” — a dishonor it took in a 2022 poll.  

To lessen the mess, the Sanitation Department rolled out a new campaign last summer, urging New Yorkers to snitch on their filthiest neighbors. The foulest offenders are infamously displayed in the city’s virtual “Hall of Shame.” 

“[It’s] where we’ll be calling out those worst of the worst – property owners who put the businesses and residences around them at risk by allowing filthy conditions to fester,” then-Commissioner Jessica Tisch previously told The Post.

“Some sidewalk slobs have had it too good for too long,” she added. “But now, their litter lovefest is over.”

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